The Comprehensive Coach Guide – #4 “…but learn to listen”
This is important. You are very likely seeking out people to help you transition into a new way of life. Chances are the mentor or coach that you pick is going to address some unpleasant or highly discomforting issues. Russell Brand, among the many others who have published books, says it very fittingly in his book “Recovery: Freedom From Our Addictions”:
We had our chance to live a happy life and enjoy our creation and it didn’t work. So for a change, why not let go of what we think will be the way and try something different for a change?
Let us look at an example. I know something is not working, but I am still convinced that I only have to do it long enough and that will make a difference. I have a key to a door and I am telling myself that I only have to try long enough until that door opens. The reasons why this door in front of me is not opening are endless, but we are still telling ourselves that persistence will create the change we seek, finally allowing us to step inside. After a while, we hire a pro to help us solve the particular problem we are facing.
So there is the pro, who is standing at my side while I’m trying to open that darn door. Imagine I’m paying someone to give advice, but when it comes to actually follow said advice I get angry, dismissive, and protective. The end of the story could be that I say to myself that the person is incapable and highly disrespectful to assume that I didn’t know what I was doing. I have a key to open this door. I’ve been trying it all my life. So how dare that bigheaded, overpriced person talk to me like that. A conversation could look like this:
“Hey, are you sure this is the right house? I have a feeling this key doesn’t fit. Maybe we can look under the doormat or in the flower pots right next to the door for a spare key. Or maybe we are lucky and the backdoor is still open and we don’t need any key at all.”
I think we all get the picture by now. Taking on the advice of a person when it comes to letting go of our own concepts, hopes, and dreams for the future is difficult or even impossible at times. But this brings us to the next item on the list.